Friday, July 15, 2011

Harry Potter Week: Lestrange Diary

Excerpt from the diary of Rodolphus Lestrange. Please read Bella and the Snake to understand this entire post.

Date Unknown

I saw it again today. The spark, the connection between He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Bella. It's actually quite amusing. They have a funny relationship, sort of like a puppy and it's owner. Bella being the puppy, of course. I was spying on them earlier and Bella was painting a portrait of The Dark Lord. I was surprised that she had stepped away from the shrine of The Lord that she set up in her closet. They had a bit of a conversation before he got mad and left.

I decided to have a chat with her afterwards:

Rodolphus: What are you doing, Bella?
Bella: Painting, you nitwit.
Rodolphus: Why are you painting? I think your shrine is jealous of the time you're spending with this painting..
Bella: It's a painting of The Dark Lord, fool. I'll be adding it to my shrine as soon as it's completed. 
Rodolphus: Right, just overlook the fact that your shrine is already overflowing into our bedroom.
Bella: I know you like the action figures of The Dark Lord as much as I do! Remember the one where he Avada Kedavra'd that fat muggle police officer?
Rodolphus: Oh yeah, that's a good one! We need action figures of me.
Bella: You'll have your own action figure when you become as successful and handsome as The Dark Lord. 
Rodolphus: That's true. I need a bit more leverage to my name.
Bella: And think about it from a manufacturer's point of view; they'll have to spend extra plastic on making a nose for you. They don't have that issue with The Dark Lord.
Rodolphus: Are you suggesting that I cut off my nose?
Bella: What's the point? You'll still be uglier than him.
Rodolphus: But will I get my own action figure?
Bella: You're barely even in action. I do EVERYTHING.
Rodolphus: That's not true! Remember when we Crucio'd the Longbottoms? 
Bella: Yes, I remember that you stood back and laughed while Crouch and I Crucio'd them.
Rodolphus: Nooo- oh wait, you're right. How about when-
Bella: No, that was me.
Rodolphus: Okay, remember when-
Bella: Still me.
Rodolphus: Surely, that time-
Bella: Nope. It was me.
Rodolphus: You don't even know what I'm about to say.
Bella: But I know it was always me.
Rodolphus: If it's always you in action, then why isn't there an action figure of you? HM?!?
Bella: There is. It's coming out November 20th, to a store near you!

I just walked away after that. This woman is impossible. 

Hope you're all enjoying Harry Potter Week!

Hosted by the brightest witches of their age:


Brodie said...

LOL! Sorry Rodolphus, you may be married to the psycho witch, but I don't even recall if you've ever had a single line of dialogue. Face it, you have to embrace your inner crazy if you want to own some scenes.

This is awesome Honey, love their dynamic! I always wondered how their marriage actually worked, with the whole infatuation she has with Voldy :P

Liz. R said...

LOL. I never thought about poor Rodolphus Lestrange! I loved how Bellatrix is the one that does everything in their partnership! :P. And an action figure of Bella coming out in November? So buying it! :D

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